From Highs To Lows

Keeg has truly been struggling. It breaks my heart and I wish that I could help him. He had an Aspie breakdown today. In addition to his health concerns, we've had a very traumatic outside force wreaking havoc on our life and the stress has been considerable.

Keeg's last visit with his endo showed that his A1C has dropped to 5.2. While seemingly ideal, it actual means that he is having way to many lows. His doctor has decreased his Levimir to 100 units at night, yet he is still waking from his low sugars (50s to 60s).

The endo stated that this is considered his "honeymoon" stage. The stage where it appears the pancreas is suddenly working and creating insulin. She stated that it doesn't last long, and soon we'll be battling highs again.

Keeg also has an inner ear infection and feels terrible, so he doesn't want to eat. He is alternating between excessive overwhelming hunger, and the desire not to eat at all. No good for fluctuating sugars.

We are still awaiting his appointments with his many other specialists.

We are embracing the positive and happy moments and using them as the sails to pull us into tomorrow.

With love,
his mom

Update: Immunology, New Insulin, and more...

First, my apologies. So many of you have asked me for updates on Keeg. In all truth, after our visit with immunology, I shied away from blogging. Putting into words all I felt at that time was a bit to much. Now though, I've had some time to process and deal, and now is the time to share.

Keeg visited his immunologist. We had more labs run (ALOT) and are still waiting results. We have been referred (again) to an allergist, hematology, and geneticist. As soon as lab results come back, we will lay out a plan for immunotherapy. Basically, the docs want to start manipulating his immune system to see if they can get it to quit attacking his own body. I don't have a lot of details, but will at a future visit. Hopefully, the worst case scenario is just that.... a scenario and not reality. Worst case being that he is Type 1 Diabetic because his immune system attacked his own pancreas, as it may do other organs.

Keeg is having difficulty swallowing. It feels like something is stuck in his throat. Food does get stuck in his throat. He's been tested for cilia dysfunction previously, but it looks like we'll be referred back to the ENT to test again. It's a horrible battle. He has to count his carbs for his meal, take insulin based on those carbs, then eat the amount of food he counted carbs for. However, when he gets to where he can't swallow, it results in his having taken to much insulin. He has to take his insulin BEFORE he eats, so inability to finish his meal really messes up his sugar level!

Keeg stays tired. Although we had hoped this would clear up in a few weeks due to diabetic management, it appears that his immune system is still wreaking havoc. He is so weak, tired, even lethargic at times. Apologetic....a thousand times a day he apologizes for not being able to help, for needing assistance, or for just being unable to play and have fun.

Today was our endochronology visit. Keeg has had to come off his Lantis pen because it burns him so terribly bad. There is another long acting insulin pen out, but insurance won't cover the pen. So, we came home with actually syringes and vials of insulin today. First dose is in half an hour. I'm nervous, but don't want him to know. I've never stuck a syringe in anyone before! Thank goodness my friend is here and that she is a CNA and former EMT. I don't know how I'd do it if it were just me!

Keeg's A1C has dropped from 12  (yes, it was 12!!!!) to 8.5. So, we celebrated a bit when we heard that one! Yay!

Keeg watched a friend making a huge breakfast of hashbrowns, biscuits and gravy, sausage, eggs, toast, etc. He ran outside, sat on the steps, busted out crying and yelled, "I hate diabetes". Our friend took him to the grocery store and worked to find a way to feed him a breakfast of thing she liked, while keeping it in his carb limit. It's difficult.

We have found that Quinoa is great for him. He gets to eat what appears to be a large quantity of food, it fills him up, and it's super yummy and good for us!

We are still learning. We still goof up often (like those times we get to busy running errands and don't have food to eat). We discovered that cheesecake is a dessert that he can have, which is good because who doesn't like homemade cheesecake? And contrary to a certain Yankee's opinion (you know who you are), cheesecake with Splenda is AWESOMENESS.

We have weeks lined with specialist appointments, testing, and more. I'm holding onto my faith that God will come through and provide me with the computer jobs I need so that we can make some much needed money. He has always provided before, and I'm sure he will now.

As some of you know, we've been fostering dogs that are pulled from gassing shelters. It's been therapeutic for our family..... seeing abused, neglected, rejected and abandoned dogs. Also, dogs that have such a wide variety of health issues. Their unconditional love, in the midst of their pain at human's hands is an inspiration in itself. It has helped our family to be acutely aware of the pain many suffer, and how we can make a difference. It helps to take the attention from our own pains, health issues, financial problems, and more. Saving dogs lives touches you in a way that nothing else can.

Despite all our family battles now, we are together. We love each other. We are a team.

Nothing else really matters.

Home....

Yesterday we were released from the hospital. When they told me they were discharging him, I became overwhelmed with nervousness. My son was going home. My son is diabetic. He has Asperger Syndrome. He has immune system issues. I am responsible for making sure his sugar is managed and he doesn't die!

FEAR

I now know a new kind of fear. The fear that comes with worrying you'll give him the wrong amount of insulin. Worried you'll get his long acting and short acting insulin mixed up. Worried you'll sleep through your alarm at midnight or at 3am when you need to get up and check his sugar. Worried that you'll screw up and your child will end up unconscious, in a diabetic coma, or worse. That's REAL FEAR! His other health issues, though severe and potentially life threatening, wasn't like this. This is something we have to manage every second of every day. We don't, he could end up in serious condition! 

Yes, I'm terrified. I'm overwhelmed. I'm scared to death! 

My son has Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. And I am SCARED. 

We left the hospital with lots of fanfare. All the nurses, childlife advocates, diabetic educators and the rest cheering him on. They all assured me that he would do fine. They were proud of his accomplishments and said that he picked it all up really quick. They showed me phenomenal support as we prepared to leave the hospital. Keeg of course wanted to finish his level on the PS2 game he was playing in the teen room. ;-)

We went to pick up his prescriptions at the pharamacy. Apparently insurance doesn't believe he needs to check his sugar or give himself insulin as often as he does. So, we'll have to get new scripts in 10 days and get more. Another aggravation I could do without....having to run to the pharmacy every 10 days to get lancets and test strips. *sigh

I realized as I was leaving the pharmacy that his insulin has to go in the fridge. Since I knew I wouldn't be back for several hours, I had to go back to the house to drop off his insulin. Then we headed to town. 

As we were headed to town, he reminded me it was snack time. We stopped by a store and spent a good 40 minutes figuring out what snack he could eat that would fit in his 15 grams of carb, but actually fill him up. 

Finally we were actually on our way to town to run errands. Two hours later it was dinner time and I was stumped. Where to go eat that we could easily count carbs and fill him up. Granted, we have his huge carb book, but filling him up is important as well. Someone told us that Taco Bell had a carb menu. So, we went to Taco Bell. Where we spent a good half our figuring out how to feed keeg within his carb levels and still fill him up. The girl at the register, trying to be useful, would make suggestions that she knew dieters chose, but they all had higher carb levels. We finally ordered and sat down to figure out sugar levels and insulin. 

Which is when I discovered................. I'm not the only one that gets squirmish when seeing a needle go into skin. People around us, when we got ready to give insulin, walked away or averted their gaze! One man went pale! 

Now keep in mind, we are not talking about old school syringe. Keeg uses a pen that looks like the photo below to administer his insulin. The needle is super small... looks tiny like an acupuncture needle. Yet, the effect seems to be the same. 

 I am certain at some point in time I will be told that I don't need to administer insulin publicly. I can already see it coming from some well intentioned friend or family member. Yet, I have always taught my children to embrace who they are and what they must do. Both my boys are open about their being on the Autism spectrum. Keeg has always been open about his health issues. I am open about my past experiences and my own health issues. I will never teach them to hide it, to be ashamed or embarrassed of it. Keeg has diabetes. This is his LIFE. It will never go away, it will never get better. I have hopes a cure will be found, but until then this is his reality. We won't hide it away to make others feel better anymore than we hide away that Keeg has Asperger Syndrome. These things do not define who they are, but he does embrace them as a part of who he is. Diabetes is no different. 

I am headed to a store today to find low carb snacks that are filling. To pick up glucose tablets and alcohol swabs. To figure out all that we need now just to survive. 

Keeg's sugars finally hit a normal range at midnight last night. We were so excited! A normal blood sugar!!! At 3am his sugar was 92 and I suddenly realized.... we didn't go through low sugar  at the hospital. 92 is good, but anything below 80 is not good! I started running through all that I knew to do if it dropped lower. This morning and today his sugar has remained in the normal range. I'm excited but know that maintaining a "perfect" sugar level in diabetes is difficult. The slightest thing could cause it to go high..... stress, over exertion, forgetting to count carbs or counting them incorrectly. 

The doc said their is a "honeymoon" stage where sugars stay so level that you start to think maybe you don't really need the insulin. Maybe this is the beginning of that stage. It doesn't last, but it sure would be a nice break right now. 

Keeg will be posting soon about how he feels. He's been a bit to overwhelmed to put it into words and I respect that. He wants to tell the world how he feels though, and when he does I expect that each of you that read this blog will take a moment to comment on his post. 

My son has Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. He is strong, determined, intelligent, scared, hopeful, overwhelmed and one of the greatest loves of my life. 

Keegan, if you read this.......... I AM SO FLIPPING PROUD OF YOU!

 

Roller Coaster

 Late last night we got excited. Keeg's ketones had gone from large to moderate. Large is the worst. Normal/Small is what we have to have to go home. Moderate is a step towards that goal. I almost cried I was so excited and logged back in to Facebook to post the info.

Late last night, the full impact of all of this hit me. My 16 year old son, that suffers from immune system issues and has Asperger Syndrome, now has to deal with diabetes. He will always have to watch what he eats, count carbs, and take shots. He will always have to carry his insulin with him. When he gets sick, he'll have to check his ketones. He will, at some point, get tired of the sticks and numbers.....but his life will depend on his doing it. My son is diabetic. It hit me, and I curled up and wondered.....how will we fit this into all the rest of his treatment? How will we afford it? How will I be able to get the things he needs to survive?

I finally found comfort in the words and support of friends, and fell asleep. Somehow, I thought that the worst was over. I mean, we were in the hospital, he was diagnosed, getting insulin and his ketones had dropped. We were on the right path.

However, things were going to change by morning.

Keeg woke early a.m. with a horrible migraine. His sugar was 192......the lowest yet! However, he was so weak, nauseated, and in pain. He couldn't eat  all his breakfast and we were worried that we may have given him to much insulin just before he ate. Insulin is measured based on the carbs he eats, and he didn't finish his meal. We checked his sugar and it was 242. Even with his insulin and barely eating anything, his sugar had gone up. He was given Ibuprofen. I curled up in bed beside him and held his hand. I laid a washcloth over his eyes to block out the light. He was in pain, and there was nothing I could do.

We both fell asleep, laying in his hospital bed. At 11:10am we woke. His headache was gone, his sugar was up. He went to the bathroom and the nurse checked his ketones. They were back to large. I sat stunned. We were on our way down, how could they now be large again? Would we ever get to go home?

Then, people begin to arrive. Keeg's brother and sister came to hang out. About an hour later his grandparents showed up. Then his friend Amanda came. Everyone had fun hanging out, playing games, and just chilling. We talked about diabetes and what we had learned. We discussed different treatment plans that my dad had, and how others they knew managed theirs. Although the topic of conversation was different, everything else seemed........ NORMAL.

Everyone has gone home now. Keeg is settled into his bed with a PS2. He's talking to his best friend Matthew while he plays video games. His energy level is better. It's almost time for his nightly dose of Lantas, a long acting insulin. They are increasing it tonight based on his morning episode as well as his last two nights breaking out in a sweat and feeling like he was going to be sick.

They may also be increasing his Novolog insulin, which is the immediate acting. We're learning alot, but there is still so much more we need to know.

Today has been a roller coaster for sure!